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Wednesday Hodgepodge

The Wednesday Hodgepodge is something else I have missed doing. The questions are always fun, and the community at From This Side of the Pond is great.

I feel most energized when I ... have a day equally laced with productivity and relaxation.

Where were you ten years ago? It's easiest for me to think about what my kids were doing then. Kyndal was in the 7th grade. Dawson was in the 5th grade. Eli was 4 and attending the developmental delay preschool. Brynne was getting ready to turn 3. We had been in our recently built house in the swanky neighborhood for just under a year. We had "arrived". It was a busy time for us. This was also the beginning of the end ... when things were getting ready to take a drastic turn. We were not where we should be. We were not doing what we should be doing. We were trying to be people we were not. I would have done things so differently 10 years ago, because this is the time that I can pinpoint when things went all wrong.

July 17th is Wor…
Recent posts

Daybook

Many, many years ago I started participating in the Simple Woman's Daybook. It was here that I made friends, shared my soul, and started my consistent journey of blogging. I desperately miss blogging. This morning I felt pulled back to the Daybook. So, for today ...

Looking out my window ... This past weekend I moved my bedroom around, flip-flopped my sleeping area and workspace. Now when I sit in bed sipping my coffee in the mornings I can look out the window. Since I am upstairs, all I really see is a tree across the street, which is perfect! It gets me into nature first thing in the morning.

I am thinking ... about so. many. things. I'm a thinker, an internalizer. This is why I really need to get back into a consistent habit of blogging.

I am thankful ... for my life. That is truth. I have a home I love, a job I love, children who fulfill me, the most amazing and entertaining grandson ever, books to read, wine to sip. This is a good life.

One of my favorite things ... is my mo…

When Father's Day is Hard

Father's Day is a tough day for me. It's the one day each year when I am confronted with all of my greatest failures, with my weaknesses. It is the day that I understand that my best is not good enough.

I spend the day thinking about all of the mistakes I have made in relationships, and owning them. But I also lament in the fact that many of the relationships were fractured when I was doing what I truly believed was best for me and my children, when I was doing things for all the right reasons. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong. I am sure it's been a little bit of both.

I am like anybody else. I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am, despite my mistakes, and maybe even in spite of them. Unfortunately, that has not been the case in my life.

So what do I do with that?

I try really, really hard to remember that God loves me unconditionally, and He always will. He will not leave me, He will not forsake me, He won't even be mad at me. When I am victorious He w…

I Stand for Jesus

Several years ago a lady and her son rented a house behind us. Her name was Pam. She was a reading resource teacher at the elementary school. Although she and I were not ever going to sit and have a glass of wine together, I really liked spending time with her. She was into natural healing and foods, life as education, was a Christian woman. Her son was a nice kid and my kids enjoyed playing with him. She got married to a local man, kind of known for being a zealot, and they moved away.

A couple of weeks ago I learned that they moved back to town. She came into the library the other day and recognized me. She asked if we were still homeschooling, and I told her that Eli wants to homeschool through high school but that Brynne had decided to go to public school because she wanted to play sports and take advantage of the A+ scholarship opportunities for college. She told me she had pulled her son out of school, told me she no longer works for the public school system, and then almost ye…

Life Lately

See, I told you that would happen. I would blog for a few days and then get busy. And now it's been a month since I last posted.

So what have we been doing around here?

Brynne finished her 7th grade year in public school. She walked away with Straight A's all year except for one semester grade of an A- the first semester in Science. She had a successful year in sports playing volleyball and basketball and is now two-thirds of the way through her summer softball season.

Eli finished his 8th grade year in our homeschool and had a very productive year. Although it was hard on both of us with him being home alone the majority of the time doing his work, it was also good for him as he learned what he is capable of doing on his own. One of the biggest things he learned was time management. And we can all benefit from a healthy dose of that.

This year I have really concentrated on teaching the kids some life skills, not only because they need to know how to do these things but becau…

Go Get It

I'm not even going to lie .. I am so gosh-darn excited about starting my new job working from home! Recently I listened to the book You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. It's a little hokey-pokey advising you to tap into your "source energy" and the power of the universe, to manifest your beliefs, and to love yourself. But, really, the book is all about allowing yourself to be positive, have faith, take risks, and believe that good things will happen in your life.

Lordy, we have become so bogged down with 'ho hums' and 'I wishes' and have just resigned ourselves to the conclusion that all things are bad, we aren't allowed to enjoy our lives, and money is evil. We are a depressing lot.

I remember a time in my life when if I wanted something I believed I could get it and then went out and did just that. And then somewhere along the way I became a cynical, grouchy, pessimist allowing myself to believe that I was not entitled to happiness. Sadly, I think t…

Things I Have Learned About Myself

I might have mentioned a time or two that this year has been one of transition. Boy, has it been. Last June I took a part-time job at our local library. I really felt that the job was exactly in my wheelhouse. It's a quiet place. There are books. The end. However, I learned some things about myself at this job, things I knew were true but didn't realize were so true. Next week I will close that chapter of my life to go back to working full-time at home doing what I started out doing 28 years ago, being a legal assistant. My how the circle of life turns.

What did I learn about myself this past year?

I am not a people person. I can appear to be a people person, but deep down I absolutely am not one. And all the energy I expel pretending completely wears me out. Like, I-need-to-go-home-and-go-to-bed wears me out. Small talk zaps me of my energy. I am not a talker, I'm a thinker. And when people come into the library, they want to talk. I just want them to check out a book and …