It was one year ago this week that my life took a different direction, and this past year has definitely been a year of transition. But, finally, FINALLY things are settling down and I feel like I am steering my own life instead of my life steering me.
The kids and I have settled into a good routine. The older two kids, who are now adults, are living their own lives. Our home renovations are getting close to being completed. I eased back into the workforce and am getting ready to start a dream job working from home. Spring is here, and I feel peaceful.
Life is tough and we spend so much time being reactionary as the world dictates to us how we should live. But I decided I was tired of living that way. I have to live with so many regrets based on decisions made while in those reactionary moments. I've often spoken about my "Florida State of Mind", which is the way I always felt when visiting my parents' vacation home in Florida. Things weren't that much different while I was there ... I still had activities to do with the kids, a house to keep clean, meals to fix, laundry to do. But there I was just able to breathe! I was able to sit on the back patio with a book and my Bible and my journal and my crossword puzzle and a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and just BE. I was able to be present in each moment of my day. Daily life was simple: do this, then do this, then do this, then relax. Why is it that within a few minutes of being back home I was back to rushing and doing and grumbling and stress? Honestly, I am not really sure. I think it was just because at home I was doing a whole lot of things I didn't want to do for a whole lot of people I didn't want to do them for. And in this last year I have given myself permission to just STOP!
I don't follow people on social media who make me agitated. I don't say "yes" to doing things I don't want to do. I intentionally make white space in my day to just remain calm and quiet. I don't apologize anymore for being who I am. I have allowed myself to have the solitude in my life that I so desperately need without feeling bad to those who think I don't need it. I have made a priority in my day of the things that are important to me ... caring for my kids, taking care of my body with exercise and nutrition, enjoying my home, drinking a nice cup of coffee, reading, power napping, enjoying nature, enjoying quiet, taking a hot bath, sipping a glass of wine. These were all the things I did in Florida when I was there. These were all of the things that I had to squeeze back into my regular life when I got home.
I have taken out the squeeze, and I am happier than I have ever been. It has been a tough year, but we have to walk through tough times to get to the other side where it's good. And it is worth the journey to get there.
The kids and I have settled into a good routine. The older two kids, who are now adults, are living their own lives. Our home renovations are getting close to being completed. I eased back into the workforce and am getting ready to start a dream job working from home. Spring is here, and I feel peaceful.
Life is tough and we spend so much time being reactionary as the world dictates to us how we should live. But I decided I was tired of living that way. I have to live with so many regrets based on decisions made while in those reactionary moments. I've often spoken about my "Florida State of Mind", which is the way I always felt when visiting my parents' vacation home in Florida. Things weren't that much different while I was there ... I still had activities to do with the kids, a house to keep clean, meals to fix, laundry to do. But there I was just able to breathe! I was able to sit on the back patio with a book and my Bible and my journal and my crossword puzzle and a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and just BE. I was able to be present in each moment of my day. Daily life was simple: do this, then do this, then do this, then relax. Why is it that within a few minutes of being back home I was back to rushing and doing and grumbling and stress? Honestly, I am not really sure. I think it was just because at home I was doing a whole lot of things I didn't want to do for a whole lot of people I didn't want to do them for. And in this last year I have given myself permission to just STOP!
I don't follow people on social media who make me agitated. I don't say "yes" to doing things I don't want to do. I intentionally make white space in my day to just remain calm and quiet. I don't apologize anymore for being who I am. I have allowed myself to have the solitude in my life that I so desperately need without feeling bad to those who think I don't need it. I have made a priority in my day of the things that are important to me ... caring for my kids, taking care of my body with exercise and nutrition, enjoying my home, drinking a nice cup of coffee, reading, power napping, enjoying nature, enjoying quiet, taking a hot bath, sipping a glass of wine. These were all the things I did in Florida when I was there. These were all of the things that I had to squeeze back into my regular life when I got home.
I have taken out the squeeze, and I am happier than I have ever been. It has been a tough year, but we have to walk through tough times to get to the other side where it's good. And it is worth the journey to get there.
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