Monday, March 19, 2012

Where is my husband?

Do you ever feel that way?

I know that when I spend day-in-day-out with my kids, from 8 a.m. until 8 p.m., teaching and caring for them, I am extremely guilty about squeezing out my husband. And then when they all go to bed and I am finally fully available for Rick, I am oftentimes so exhausted that he gets what's left of me, which is not much.

I am fully concious of this, and I try to stay on top of it. But I do not do nearly enough to make my husband the priority in my life that he should be.

My priorities are (or at least I try to make them be):
1. God
2. Rick
3. The kids
4. Myself
5. Outside activities

Because Rick is so loving and accommodating to me, he seems to be the one that drops down my priority list before anything else.

Here are just a few things that I try to do to help that not happen:
  • Go on dates during unconventional times and on unconventional days. Most of our dates these days are on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon (going to the movies or to eat lunch). We also take advantage of "grocery store dates". We go have dinner and get groceries together. I enjoy his companionship and help! I try to be spontaneously available, like if Rick calls during the week and wants to go have dinner when he gets home from work. Now, having a teenage son makes this much easier. He is always willing to stay with the kids so that we can do this.
  •  We make everybody go to their rooms at 8:30 p.m. so that we can have some time alone. We even put the dogs in bed with Brynne. We usually watch a t.v. show or two that we have DVR'd, have a snack, and just spend time together.
  • I try to do little things for Rick that make him know that I am thinking of him. It might be just making sure his laundry is done, or making sure he has some Hershey kisses or pistachios to snack on, or make sure he has a good meal when he gets home from work. 
  • I try to limit my outside activities. I try to only be away from home one evening a month with ladies from either church or homeschool co-op. I would prefer to be with my family in the evenings.
I look at this list and it just doesn't seem like enough.

One other area that I feel like it is important to have Rick involved, is in the kids' education. I am certainly the teacher of our kids. But, I recently read about one other family's science lessons with dad on the weekends. That got my wheels turning. Science is not my strong suit. Sure, I can teach it. But I am not passionate about it. Rick LOVES science! He loves weather and astronomy and lots of other things. I have asked him to take over the majority of science instruction for our kids by having "Science Saturdays". The kids and I are very excited to have daddy joining us in our learning.

The TOS Crew is weighing in on this issue this week. I cannot wait to read what they have to say. I am hoping to get some great tips about how to better include my husband in my busy days and nights.


  1. Nicole - I agree with what you have said. (What a great picture of you and your husband, by the way!)

    Having dinner on the table and just a few of my husband's favorite things makes a huge difference to him. I also like what you say about having everyone in bed at 8:30 so you can have time together. We manage to do that some nights, and those nights are always more peaceful.

    Great post! I'm glad you're on the Crew!

  2. I agree~ fabulous picture!!! =)
    ahhh, yes, we too grab up the 'grocery store' date! *hee*
    I learned long ago that I had to show my dh that he mattered in creative ways as we rarely have time for each other. Your list is very similar to mine, and always value the importance of our attitude as wives (that sets the tone for the whole household!) and flirting randomly tends to be refreshing too. *wink* My downfall, I go to bed wwaaaayyy too late, oh my. Great post Nicole!


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